The Human Nose

With the start of the new NFL season the drama is high, will Aaron Hernandez lead the Bristol County Correctional facility in receptions, can Andy Reid actually GAIN weight eating bacon wrapped chili dogs in Kansas City and how will Colin Kaepernick be able to repeat his dominating 2012 season?

John Brenkus is a busy guy, and there are some stories that he just isn't qualified to take on. That's where I come in.

Today we take a look into Colin "the human nose" Kaepernick's nose and how it makes him so successful. The average length of a male nose is 5.8cm long and protrudes 2.6cm. Colin's nose is 6.2cm long and protrudes 3.4cm. The average NFL QB 40 time is 5.17 but Colin is able to run a 4.53, the difference here can be directly attributed to the size of his nose. Due to the nose size he is able to keep his mouth closed maximizing his oxygen absorption to make him a more efficient breather and ultimately a more efficient runner. Because he is able to breath through his nose, he is 50% more resistant to the air stream than the normal runner which allows him to maintain adequate elasticity of the lungs. Breathing through your mouth increases the possibility of dehydration, so Colin is able to prevent that due to his large nose. The 49ers run the read option and the reason they are so successful is because the defense gets blinded by the size of the nose and their feet are stuck to the ground. Colin's huge nose also helps him with the ladies because mouth breathing makes you look dense, dull or stupid, and scoring the night before a game helps him relax and relieve stress while helping him remain focused during the game, which ultimately leads to success. All of these things give Colin Kaepernick a nose up on the competition and that's why he will be able to replicate his breakout season in 2013.

Thanks for reading and join us next time when we discuss Jay Cutler's on field smoking abilities!