The One-eyed Wonder

This past week Tracy McGrady told the world that he is going to try out for the Sugar Land Skeeters, there are two definitions for skeeter, depending on if you search the real dictionary or urban dictionary. The images you have of T-Mac are from his days as one of the best basketball players of his era and from those shoes that you always wanted in 6th grade but couldn't afford. As stated previously, T-Mac was known for his ability to score at will in the mid-2000's and could do this, and by that I really mean this.

Now you're thinking, I thought Tracy McGrady had a lazy eye, how could he play baseball, which is also how you felt when Darius Rucker announced that he would be making country music songs. The good news is that he is trying out to be a pitcher, so he won't have to hit that often. Although it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world; A 1997 Washington Post profile wrote of how McGrady, as a 12-year-old Little Leaguer in Florida, would step to the plate, point to the fence and go deep. With several years of little league baseball experience where I got less playing time than anyone but the third base coach and having watched every single Kent Murphy instructional video on YouTube, I am without a doubt more qualified to tell you about this than Megyn Kelly is qualified to tell you about anything. 

At 6'8, T-Mac is the perfect height for a pitcher, just two inches shorter than Randy Johnson. Unfortunately that is the only similarity because T-Mac can't pull of the signature Randy Johnson mullet, unless of course he is going to channel his inner Lionel Richie. With a lazy eye, it will be easier for him to pitch than it was for Brett Favre to text pictures of his junk. The lazy eye will increase his ability to see peripherally. That means that anyone taking a big lead off of first base is going to get picked off, and nothing is more demoralizing to a base runner than base running errors. 

With one eye looking left and the other eye looking right, the batter will have no idea where the pitch is going. Now you're thinking, how can a guy who hasn't played baseball in 16 years throw anything other than a fastball? 

According to Kent Murphy, the key is to throw fastballs every pitch, because the only thing that happens when you throw curveballs and sliders is 500 ft dick slaps. If Jim Abbott can throw a no hitter with one hand, then Tracy McGrady can pitch with a lazy eye. He may only have one eye on us, but we have both eyes on him. Let's hope his career is longer than Bruce Willis' singing career.